I have been trying so hard to be careful of what I eat and how much of it I eat. I have found, the more I deprive myself, I crave the things I don't even like. Take for instance, ice cream. I don't like ice cream and lately, I want to indulge in an entire bucket!
What is a girl to do? I do not want to continue to be fat, here. I invested in a Kindle Fire, which I absolutely love, by the way. I downloaded three apps. One is a calorie counter. This has worked well in tracking my food, beverage, and exercise on a daily basis. The other, is a work-out app. It seems well enough. I've looked it over, but I haven't actually done the exercises. Well, I did the 'arm' exercises today while sitting at my desk. The third, is an under 600 calories! YAY! All the fast food crap that I can get for under 600 calories. This app would be great, but I don't eat fast food.
*sigh* I haven't lost any weight. I'm merely getting fatter. It's frustrating. I am eating only 1200 calories a day, sometimes less, like 1000. That's really not a lot if you think about it. That is one of those really yummy pulled pork sandwiches at T.G.I Fridays. Yes, they have 995 calories just for the sandwich! That is not including the fries. I am happy to say, I only ate half the sandwich and well, I don't like fries so I didn't eat them.
I am supposed to do my workout this evening. My kids have decided to watch, "The Lorax" as a family. I very well could exercise and watch the movie as they all sit and indulge in Cookie Dough and/or Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, but frankly, working out in front of them all while they are watching the movie makes me uncomfortable. Seriously, how would you feel if you were trying to relax and watch a movie and someone is huffing away, gasping for air, sweat beading on their forehead? Ewe. We are watching the Lorax here, not the April Sutton Jiggle Massacre.
I guess I can come up with every excuse not to exercise. I do have to say, I've started going to Zumba on Tuesday nights with some friends. It's fun. Of course, I have no rhythm, but I'm okay with that.
So I guess I will watch my movie with the family, minus the ice cream and pop corn. Only because I'm all out of popcorn. That's a good thing. I am on a protest to buy more. I love microwave popcorn so I've boycotted it.
There you have it. No weight loss 21 days into the new year and I'm as fluffy as ever. I will not give up, though. I will prevail!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Exercise is good. Food is bad.
I have been doing very good on the exercising part. I get up early in the morning to do it. I have found that Sweatin' To The Oldies works best then, I do the Extreme make over work out edition.
You see, I do the Sweatin' To The Oldies through the actual work out. I do not do the "cool down". That is when I change videos and I put in the Extreme Makeover one. That one is 15 minutes long and it's slow. It's all about muscle control. My body is very sore after both work outs.
I get the aerobic workout, and I get the steady and slow controlled muscle building work outs. I'm quite excited about this. I have been doing well with this routine all week. I feel great!
The food...... not so good. I have come to realize, I eat really well and healthy throughout the day. Then, about 7pm, I eat whatever crap I can find. Usually, it's a bag of Veggie Straws (because I really like those). I recently bought those little paint buckets of "tool" cookies from Home Depot. They are shortbread type cookies. I will eat a hand full of those throughout the night. By the end of the night, I've gone through a pail of paint cookies! Why did I even buy them? Because I love shortbread cookies and these were .98 and totally adorable!
I need better eating habits. I am not eating because I am hungry. That I have already decided. I am eating because I am bored. I'm finally able to relax and sit down after a busy day. So, I sit down, relax, and eat a handful of M&M's or shortbread cookies.
You see, I do the Sweatin' To The Oldies through the actual work out. I do not do the "cool down". That is when I change videos and I put in the Extreme Makeover one. That one is 15 minutes long and it's slow. It's all about muscle control. My body is very sore after both work outs.
I get the aerobic workout, and I get the steady and slow controlled muscle building work outs. I'm quite excited about this. I have been doing well with this routine all week. I feel great!
The food...... not so good. I have come to realize, I eat really well and healthy throughout the day. Then, about 7pm, I eat whatever crap I can find. Usually, it's a bag of Veggie Straws (because I really like those). I recently bought those little paint buckets of "tool" cookies from Home Depot. They are shortbread type cookies. I will eat a hand full of those throughout the night. By the end of the night, I've gone through a pail of paint cookies! Why did I even buy them? Because I love shortbread cookies and these were .98 and totally adorable!
I need better eating habits. I am not eating because I am hungry. That I have already decided. I am eating because I am bored. I'm finally able to relax and sit down after a busy day. So, I sit down, relax, and eat a handful of M&M's or shortbread cookies.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Day 3 Was a Litte Better
I woke up this morning at 4:30am. I actually got myself out of bed too. Usually, the alarm goes off, but I continuously hit snooze for half an hour because I just don't like to get out of bed. I put some cold water on my face and put on my work out clothes.
I decided to put on Tae Bo. Someone ought to kick the crap out of Billy Blanks. That jerk has nothing but skinny, perfectly fit people in his videos and frankly, he's not very motivational. I couldn't keep up with him.
I made it through the warm up and nearly puked so I decided I had better stop. I didn't give up though. I have another video. I have Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. It's a 15 minute workout on level one and very easy.
I really like this work out because it seems easy enough, right? Everything they do is slow because it's made for people who have a harder time moving around. Also, when you're moving at a slower pace, your body can burn more fat and build muscle.
The trainer guy in the video is so nice to me, too. He's my friend. He tells me, "It's okay. Any kind of movement is good". Thus leaving me pleased with myself that I am at least doing SOMETHING. I didn't feel like a total failure this morning. I did the Billy Blanks warm up and the Extreme Make over work out. Whew! My body is sore.
I feel great! I have had a lot of energy today too. Tonight for dinner I am going to treat myself to a ham and egg breakfast burrito. Why? because I like ham, eggs have protein and well, salsa has no calories. It's all pure veggies and tomatoes! YUMMY!
I decided to put on Tae Bo. Someone ought to kick the crap out of Billy Blanks. That jerk has nothing but skinny, perfectly fit people in his videos and frankly, he's not very motivational. I couldn't keep up with him.
I made it through the warm up and nearly puked so I decided I had better stop. I didn't give up though. I have another video. I have Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. It's a 15 minute workout on level one and very easy.
I really like this work out because it seems easy enough, right? Everything they do is slow because it's made for people who have a harder time moving around. Also, when you're moving at a slower pace, your body can burn more fat and build muscle.
The trainer guy in the video is so nice to me, too. He's my friend. He tells me, "It's okay. Any kind of movement is good". Thus leaving me pleased with myself that I am at least doing SOMETHING. I didn't feel like a total failure this morning. I did the Billy Blanks warm up and the Extreme Make over work out. Whew! My body is sore.
I feel great! I have had a lot of energy today too. Tonight for dinner I am going to treat myself to a ham and egg breakfast burrito. Why? because I like ham, eggs have protein and well, salsa has no calories. It's all pure veggies and tomatoes! YUMMY!
Day 2 Totally Sucked Rocks
I thought I was doing really good yesterday. I had one of those nasty slim fasts for breakfast and another for lunch. I even had a banana as a snack. When I arrived home from work, I thought I was going to die of starvation. My stomach hurt so bad of hunger pains, I thought I was going to fall over dead. So, I ate two pieces of bread, plain.
I thought about working out, but I didn't actually do it. I get really nervous dancing and prancing around in front of my husband. He watches me. Sometimes he smiles. Sometimes he is preoccupied. I just feel really awkward.
My seven year old daughter has a new Wii game called Country Dancing. It's quite funny to watch her. She's very uncoordinated. I am quite the control freak and wanted to take over. Of course, I cannot force her to be in rhythm. But, I got off my lazy but and stood next to her while she danced. I counted. Eventually, I decided I wanted to try it.
I was in my sweat pants and socks trying to country dance with the Wii. It was definitely a work out. I enjoyed myself. I got the hang of it with only two tries too!! Yay me! However, my fat butt was exhausted after those two tries. So, I had to sit down. I was winded.
Suddenly, I was a ton a hungry. So, I downed a couple hand fulls of M & M's and we all agreed here that M & M's should come in sugar free. If Reese's Peanut Butter Cups can come sugar free, M & M's should, too and be called S & M's
I thought about working out, but I didn't actually do it. I get really nervous dancing and prancing around in front of my husband. He watches me. Sometimes he smiles. Sometimes he is preoccupied. I just feel really awkward.
My seven year old daughter has a new Wii game called Country Dancing. It's quite funny to watch her. She's very uncoordinated. I am quite the control freak and wanted to take over. Of course, I cannot force her to be in rhythm. But, I got off my lazy but and stood next to her while she danced. I counted. Eventually, I decided I wanted to try it.
I was in my sweat pants and socks trying to country dance with the Wii. It was definitely a work out. I enjoyed myself. I got the hang of it with only two tries too!! Yay me! However, my fat butt was exhausted after those two tries. So, I had to sit down. I was winded.
Suddenly, I was a ton a hungry. So, I downed a couple hand fulls of M & M's and we all agreed here that M & M's should come in sugar free. If Reese's Peanut Butter Cups can come sugar free, M & M's should, too and be called S & M's
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I thought about working out today, does that count?
My name is April. I'm addicted to food. Why? Because it's essential to live. It's unfortunate that we have to have food to live a healthy lifestyle. However, there is controversy on how much food we actually need. Everyone is different. Every body is different.
Today, January 2, 2013, I am fat. According to the social media medical science, I am morbidly obese. According to the average American at a size 16, I am normal. I am 5'9", I weigh an whopping 220 pounds. Last week I swore I weighed 210. Perhaps Christmas put me over-board. Or, consider the possibility I feel constipated I feel like I'm going to start having contractions at any given time and give birth to my fourth child. Who knows. The fact remains, I am fat. My countless rolls prove it.
So you fully understand what I am up against, I will give you some insight of my back ground. I do not have some dietitians degree. I do not believe one is necessary for common sense. I do have a degree in the social sciences, in which I obtained when I was thirty. I'm obviously a slow starter.
Unfortunately I am not just a fat adult, I was a fat kid too. I was taller and bigger than the other children I went to school with, thus resulting in teasing and tormenting. Of course back in the 1980's, bullying wasn't against the law. Parents and school administration wrote it off as "kids would be kids".
By the time I reached Junior High, I was bulimic and a binge eater. I could go days without eating. Then, I would stop at the burger joint for two cheese burgers, a large fry and a diet coke (have to have the diet). I would still be hungry, so I would travel next door to Subway for a foot sub. I would down that one, too. I would be good for another couple of days. Of course, my stomach would be so full and bloated it would hurt. So, I would take laxatives to get it all out and relieve some of the pressure.
When I was in High School in the early 1990's, I was thrilled to be a size three. I was so skinny, you could see my hip bones and my face was sunken in. Oh man, I thought I was smokin hot! The boys did too. I was a hottie back then. I didn't look anorexic. Hey, according to the medical charts, I was perfect. I was 5'9" and I was 165 lbs. According to them, that's where I was supposed to be.
Needless to say, I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I'm not blaming anyone, by all means. I have no one to blame for my binge eating and bulimia but myself. I don't blame the turds who tormented me in school either. They were only accomplishing the minimal tasks their IQ allowed at the time. Therefore, they were at no fault of their own.
My heaviest weight, I weighed in at a whopping 280 pounds. I blamed it on the fact that I was depressed. I was in an abusive relationship, and some weirdo doctor misdiagnosed my abusive relationship/depressive statute as bipolar and prescribed me depicote. Now, if you know anything about this medication, one of the side effects is weight gain. Once I realized that this quack knew nothing about me or my situation, I stopped the medication and moved on with my life without prescriptions and without an abusive spouse. Man, did I feel great! My weight dropped to 200 lbs.
Then, I got remarried and had another baby. I was so afraid of being fat again that I swore no matter what happened, I would never, ever let myself get like that again. And I didn't. I was careful throughout my pregnancy. I only gained 30 pounds. When I returned for my six week check-up, I had hit my goal to be back at 200 pounds again. Whoot whoot for me. I am that awesome!
Then, that jerk left me for a skinny little nineteen year old. He was nice enough to tell me how fat, ugly and nasty I was before he left. Oh, not to mention how every time he looked at me, he wanted to puke. Who can blame him? When I look at myself, I want to puke, too.
I guess you can call it divorce weight-loss. I don't know the correct sociology/psychological term for it, but many people drop weight when they are going through a divorce. Personally, I dropped to 180 pounds. I looked good. For the first time since high school, I was hot!
I was thirty years old and looking smokin' hot. I was the woman who went to the bar by herself and I went home by myself. It was a game to me. I knew the men wanted me and I loved the fact that I was in control knowing they couldn't have me because they thought of me as a "MILF". Sorry boys, this MILF is too good for all of y'all! ha ha!
I was lonely, but it was worth it all because I looked hot and I knew it. Is that bad? I was so confident in myself that I thought I could walk in any where and turn heads. I even went to get my daughter, who was in the seventh grade at the time from the Junior High, and I heard a boy tell her, "WOW! That's your mom?! You're mom is so hot!" Talk about an ego booster. The kid was thirteen!
Here we are, three years later, and forty-five disgusting pounds heavier. My husband (yes, I'm married again, don't knock it) says I'm beautiful and sexy. I also know he isn't lying to me. In his eyes/mind, I am. But to me, I am utterly disgusting. I am no longer a MILF. I'm just an ILF. "I Lack Fabulousness"
So, that brings me to why I am here. Folks, it's not that I don't believe that people like Jillian Michaels was ever over weight but where are the stretch marks? Where's the dimples and cellulite? I see cellulite and dimples on Richard Simmons. I see them on Oprah.
I am real. I am a real life 34 year old, size 16, mother of three. I work a full time job. I eat, which makes me fat. I try to exercise and it sucks. I can never find the time. I have to make the time. In 2010 I was still a mother of 3, I was 190 pounds, I didn't eat but a few calories a day, and I ran a mile and a half nearly every day. The difference between then and now, I was a college student. Today, I work a full time job.
I'm here to tell about my crappy experience in my new lifestyle. I'm making changes. My goal isn't to be skinny and a MILF again. Honestly, my goal is to continuously blog this crap in hopes to have a healthier lifestyle. I guess if I have someone to answer too, I'm more prone to follow through, right? Then, the outcome will be, a better and healthy lifestyle. Tada!
Now, it's 5:30 in the evening. I had a slim fast for breakfast and a slim fast for lunch. I had a banana for a snack. I thought I was going to fall over dead, so about 2 O'clock, I downed a 5 hour energy shot. When I arrived home at 4:30, I was sick to my stomach because I hadn't eaten anything and I ate two plain pieces of bread. You know, a sandwich with nothing in between. It's not good for you, but my stomach doesn't hurt any more.
I have yet to exercise. But hey! I did put my work out clothes in a gym bag and take it to work with me today. It lay right under my desk all day long looking pretty. I thought about working out, so I guess my brain got a workout, but I doubt I burned any calories.
Today, January 2, 2013, I am fat. According to the social media medical science, I am morbidly obese. According to the average American at a size 16, I am normal. I am 5'9", I weigh an whopping 220 pounds. Last week I swore I weighed 210. Perhaps Christmas put me over-board. Or, consider the possibility I feel constipated I feel like I'm going to start having contractions at any given time and give birth to my fourth child. Who knows. The fact remains, I am fat. My countless rolls prove it.
So you fully understand what I am up against, I will give you some insight of my back ground. I do not have some dietitians degree. I do not believe one is necessary for common sense. I do have a degree in the social sciences, in which I obtained when I was thirty. I'm obviously a slow starter.
Unfortunately I am not just a fat adult, I was a fat kid too. I was taller and bigger than the other children I went to school with, thus resulting in teasing and tormenting. Of course back in the 1980's, bullying wasn't against the law. Parents and school administration wrote it off as "kids would be kids".
By the time I reached Junior High, I was bulimic and a binge eater. I could go days without eating. Then, I would stop at the burger joint for two cheese burgers, a large fry and a diet coke (have to have the diet). I would still be hungry, so I would travel next door to Subway for a foot sub. I would down that one, too. I would be good for another couple of days. Of course, my stomach would be so full and bloated it would hurt. So, I would take laxatives to get it all out and relieve some of the pressure.
When I was in High School in the early 1990's, I was thrilled to be a size three. I was so skinny, you could see my hip bones and my face was sunken in. Oh man, I thought I was smokin hot! The boys did too. I was a hottie back then. I didn't look anorexic. Hey, according to the medical charts, I was perfect. I was 5'9" and I was 165 lbs. According to them, that's where I was supposed to be.
Needless to say, I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I'm not blaming anyone, by all means. I have no one to blame for my binge eating and bulimia but myself. I don't blame the turds who tormented me in school either. They were only accomplishing the minimal tasks their IQ allowed at the time. Therefore, they were at no fault of their own.
My heaviest weight, I weighed in at a whopping 280 pounds. I blamed it on the fact that I was depressed. I was in an abusive relationship, and some weirdo doctor misdiagnosed my abusive relationship/depressive statute as bipolar and prescribed me depicote. Now, if you know anything about this medication, one of the side effects is weight gain. Once I realized that this quack knew nothing about me or my situation, I stopped the medication and moved on with my life without prescriptions and without an abusive spouse. Man, did I feel great! My weight dropped to 200 lbs.
Then, I got remarried and had another baby. I was so afraid of being fat again that I swore no matter what happened, I would never, ever let myself get like that again. And I didn't. I was careful throughout my pregnancy. I only gained 30 pounds. When I returned for my six week check-up, I had hit my goal to be back at 200 pounds again. Whoot whoot for me. I am that awesome!
Then, that jerk left me for a skinny little nineteen year old. He was nice enough to tell me how fat, ugly and nasty I was before he left. Oh, not to mention how every time he looked at me, he wanted to puke. Who can blame him? When I look at myself, I want to puke, too.
I guess you can call it divorce weight-loss. I don't know the correct sociology/psychological term for it, but many people drop weight when they are going through a divorce. Personally, I dropped to 180 pounds. I looked good. For the first time since high school, I was hot!
I was thirty years old and looking smokin' hot. I was the woman who went to the bar by herself and I went home by myself. It was a game to me. I knew the men wanted me and I loved the fact that I was in control knowing they couldn't have me because they thought of me as a "MILF". Sorry boys, this MILF is too good for all of y'all! ha ha!
I was lonely, but it was worth it all because I looked hot and I knew it. Is that bad? I was so confident in myself that I thought I could walk in any where and turn heads. I even went to get my daughter, who was in the seventh grade at the time from the Junior High, and I heard a boy tell her, "WOW! That's your mom?! You're mom is so hot!" Talk about an ego booster. The kid was thirteen!
Here we are, three years later, and forty-five disgusting pounds heavier. My husband (yes, I'm married again, don't knock it) says I'm beautiful and sexy. I also know he isn't lying to me. In his eyes/mind, I am. But to me, I am utterly disgusting. I am no longer a MILF. I'm just an ILF. "I Lack Fabulousness"
So, that brings me to why I am here. Folks, it's not that I don't believe that people like Jillian Michaels was ever over weight but where are the stretch marks? Where's the dimples and cellulite? I see cellulite and dimples on Richard Simmons. I see them on Oprah.
I am real. I am a real life 34 year old, size 16, mother of three. I work a full time job. I eat, which makes me fat. I try to exercise and it sucks. I can never find the time. I have to make the time. In 2010 I was still a mother of 3, I was 190 pounds, I didn't eat but a few calories a day, and I ran a mile and a half nearly every day. The difference between then and now, I was a college student. Today, I work a full time job.
I'm here to tell about my crappy experience in my new lifestyle. I'm making changes. My goal isn't to be skinny and a MILF again. Honestly, my goal is to continuously blog this crap in hopes to have a healthier lifestyle. I guess if I have someone to answer too, I'm more prone to follow through, right? Then, the outcome will be, a better and healthy lifestyle. Tada!
Now, it's 5:30 in the evening. I had a slim fast for breakfast and a slim fast for lunch. I had a banana for a snack. I thought I was going to fall over dead, so about 2 O'clock, I downed a 5 hour energy shot. When I arrived home at 4:30, I was sick to my stomach because I hadn't eaten anything and I ate two plain pieces of bread. You know, a sandwich with nothing in between. It's not good for you, but my stomach doesn't hurt any more.
I have yet to exercise. But hey! I did put my work out clothes in a gym bag and take it to work with me today. It lay right under my desk all day long looking pretty. I thought about working out, so I guess my brain got a workout, but I doubt I burned any calories.
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